How to create a shit first impression

How to create a shit first impression of your premises.

Fail to pick up at the airport, which you’ve booked and paid for.

Get the hump on the phone when told that I’ll get a taxi rather than wait the 90 minutes you’ve told me it will take for the driver to get there.

When I arrive, send your wife to berate me before I even get through the door, for “missing the driver, who had waited for you”. Ignore fact that I was first through customs, asked out loud if anyone was here for me, and was told by the other drivers that the driver for this guest house wasn’t there. Also ignore that it was one of those other drivers that called you, to say that the driver wasn’t there.

When I check in, have a right whinge about my asking to see the room before paying the balance.

On way to room. Have a moan at a couple of girls for leaving their bikes in a place that is quite obviously not in anyones way.

Have 18 rooms and 1 toilet/shower combo.

Totally blank, then walk away when engaged in friendly chit-chat about the area.

So, not a great first impression. However, my little room is better than the last one. Have a feeling I’m a bit out in the sticks, and that nothing is particularly nearby. The island looks like a proper paradise from the air and the drivers didn’t seem like they were trying to kill each other, so I’m quite keen to rent a motorbike and go exploring. My landlord aside, everyone else has been really friendly and helpful. The guys at the airport that sorted out my phone were a good laugh. They saw my Spurs wallpaper and announced they were Man Utd fans and said they were going to charge me extra if we beat them this weekend.

Well, time to look at the map of the area and find out where I can get fed, watered and a set of wheels.

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